What I've Noticed...

You Don't Need to Apologise

One thing I've noticed over the years...

Parents often arrive carrying more than their child.

They carry everyone else's expectations too.

I see it all the time.

The apologetic smile.

Holding a child a little tighter than they need to.

Trying to stop them moving.

Trying to stop them making noise.

Trying to stop anyone noticing.

I remember one SEND session.

Before we'd even started, parents were almost squashing their children to keep them still.

I laughed.

"Please don't squash your children."

Everyone laughed.

Then I said,

"We're at a SEND session."

"This is probably the one place where your child should be able to be exactly who they are."

"You don't have to protect me from them."

"And you don't have to apologise either."

Twenty minutes later...

Some of those same children were lying quietly enjoying Story Massage.

Not because somebody finally controlled them.

Because the pressure had gone.

Not just for the children.

For their parents too.

That's what I've noticed.

Sometimes we're so busy helping children fit into the world...

that we forget to create spaces where they don't have to.